Episcopal Princess

Washington, DC Encore

2011-12-10T21:52:00.001-08:00

I spent part of the past week in Washington, DC meeting with a small subgroup of The Episcopal Church Task Force on Older Adult Ministries as we crafted a possible piece of General Convention legislation related to the Older Americans Act. We met on Capitol Hill, working with the amazing staff at The Episcopal Church Office for Government Relations who provided much needed guidance on the Older Americans Act, which is an act that encompasses a great deal of legislation.

Professionally this was a good week. It was a tough week. The resolutions subgroup of the Task Force on OAM has been wrestling with how to address the OAA for eight months and it has been incredibly challenging. Part of what has been challenging has been trying to determine how to begin to access a piece of legislation which was first passed in 1965 and has been added to since then. The OAA was supposed to be re-upped in 2011 but has yet to be brought up for a vote. Another difficult aspect is the fact that we don't know whether the OAA will have been addressed by the time of GC2012 or not. So how to do you write a GC Resolution under these circumstances? Well you call in the experts! Those experts include John Johnson, a consultant who founded RiteWorks Consulting; Mary Getz, who is the Grassroots and Online Communications Officer (also known as the EPPN goddess) for The Episcopal Church Office of Gov't Relations; and DeWayne Davis, who serves as the Domestic Policy Analyst for The Episcopal Church Office of Gov't Relations. John helped us navigate what the OAA is and how to advocate for the OAA during a meeting on Capitol Hill with Senator Charles Grassley. Mary and DeWayne prepared us for our meetings, provided guidance on how the Office for Gov't Relations works and provided wonderful hospitality during our meetings. Mary also introduced me to Fitbit and was nice enough to walk the monuments at night with Ruth Ann and I on Thursday night, which is still my favorite night time activity in DC.

We did good work and I think the resolution that we produced is a good resolution. It wasn't easy and the resolution doesn't actually reference the OAA given that the OAA itself is fraught with challenging twists and turns. Well not the legislation itself but it does present problems for GC. I still need to clean up the resolution a little bit but it is almost ready. Then we have to figure out who can bring it to the Convention. I like this work, even though it is exhausting. I like the process of writing a resolution for convention, creating a space that we hopefully can find the voice of the Holy Spirit in and being present in community. I think I am actually good at it and know that this isn't the easiest skill set to develop, but I have had excellent mentors. For the record, none of The Episcopal Church Center staff crafted the resolutions. They were there to support us in our work and to raise questions, but no one stepped past the bounds of what they are permitted to do. It is incredibly helpful to have them with us.

Personally this week was a bit of a roller coaster, which I will address in a later post because the time change is making my brain mush…well the time change and lots of extrovert time put in this week for this introvert.

I Love My Job But..

2011-11-10T21:06:00.000-08:00

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my job. I love the fact that I have wonderful people to work with and wonderful people to minister with. I love that I get to start most days with young people. I love that part of my job is to go to school sports events, talent shows, musicals, assemblies and shared meals. I love that most Sunday mornings I get to stand on a hill in the sun and welcome children to Godly Play. I love that I have playmates at work who get silly and intellectual and playful and brilliant. Oh and that we use Macs. I love that I have a boss who supports me, and sees just beyond where I am to where I can do it better. Who is helping me develop management skills and push the envelope. I love all of this, but...

I am so tired. I am burning the candle at ends that I didn't know it had. Yesterday I just couldn't handle one more thing and I lost it. I started crying, just as an emotional release. My internal mantra was "I just can't do it." It has probably been coming for a while, last week was tough personally on some levels and I haven't had a decent day off in a while. I managed to figure out a temporary solution. I had to deal with the fact that I just was going to drop a ball this week. It wasn't one that I felt comfortable dropping, nor was it one that really should be dropped but it was the big one that could fall long enough for me to keep the other ones in the air.

I suppose this is a confession of sorts. We had the confession in the service today but this part wasn't on my radar screen. I was thinking of other things. My personal stuff is just stuffed in my brain and I am sure it is leaking out because I haven't had made time to deal with it. I know that I am making choices. The lack of a day off is my choice. I don't feel as though I have had time but I have also made the choice to not let balls fall to the ground.

I am sitting here with my brain running, going through the things that I need to do tomorrow. This morning I slept in until my alarm went off, which is something that I rarely do. I am waiting for my laundry to be done so that I can go to sleep.

Yes this is a stream of consciousness blog. It is just getting some of the things in my head out. I am not yet writing about my uncle having lung cancer, feeling very separate from my family and having trouble with that, or the fact that I feel as though I am just very mentally slow right now. Oh, upshot appears to be that I am too tired to be anxious right now. Hmm, that might be the light at the end of the tunnel. Of course that light might also be the light from an oncoming train, time will tell...

Five Marks of Mission

2011-10-11T11:17:00.000-07:00

I have spent a lot of time over the past two years working with the Episcopal Church Task Force for Older Adult Ministries. It has been an eye opening experience and not just because I am the baby of the group. I confess I am still a little frustrated with some of the generations that came before me and am conscious that the world is shifting as the Boomers hit 65 with a force that no generation before them has even come close to.

Part of my work has been looking at how the church makes decisions and what our touchstones are. It has given me a chance to really take a look at the Five Marks of Mission which The Episcopal Church adopted in 2009. I like the way that this video from the Anglican Church in Canada plays with the Five Marks and brings it to a place where we can talk about mission and ministry.

Pirate Eucharist

2011-09-19T10:32:00.001-07:00

Welcome once again to International Talk Like a Pirate Day where we once again celebrate the creative energy behind the Pirate Eucharist. I love a good dose of creativity and this one is generally at the top of my giggle list. The Pirate Eucharist is found in the book The Soprano Wore Falsettos by Mark Schweizer, which is part of a collection of throughly creative books called The Liturgical Mysteries. If you are a Kindle owner you are particularly lucky because the books are downloadable for a steal of a price. I highly recommend you go and check them out.

A few years ago I suggested that we needed to take a look at alternative hymn choices for the day and I am still open to delightfully appropriate and inappropriate suggestions.

New Sermon

2011-07-09T22:09:00.000-07:00

I preached several weeks ago on the Genesis story that I lovingly refer to as "Abraham and Isaac's Camping Trip in the Desert". This sermon kicked my butt a little bit. I prefer to preach on the OT usually and was kind of excited about this reading when I realized it was the Proper for the day but the more I got into the exegesis the more I realized there were a million directions to take the sermon. I also knew that I had to be careful because that particular Sunday we were commissioning the new St. Matthew's Day Camp staff which meant there were going to be lots of teenagers and their future campers in the pews. It wasn't the easiest topic for that situation but I figured if we address the story in Godly Play there wasn't any reason not to address it in the church. It was by far the longest sermon that I have ever preached but I think I am mostly proud of it. The version that was posted is the version for the 10 am service, which was slightly different than the 8 am version. Read it if you like.

Lay Eucharistic Visitor

2011-04-18T21:59:00.000-07:00

Lay Eucharistic Visitor

Yesterday I did something that I have never done before, I took Eucharist to a family in the parish who couldn't make it to the service. I am sure that I did everything wrong, but it was just a momentary thought that I knew this particular family needed Eucharist. I didn't lead the service but encouraged the father to instead, mostly because he is called to the priesthood and one of these days might actually recognize it.

Today I talked to my boss about what I did. I put it in the category of "Um, just so you know I did this." His response was just what you want a boss to say after you have done something that wasn't entirely kosher "Great!" Then we discussed that I should probably be licensed by the diocese to be "official". So I headed into the office of the Associate for Adult Formation, who also serves as our liturgist.

Our liturgist said he would get on figuring out how to get the license from the Diocese but that I needed to make sure that I got safe sex training. We both caught what he said at about the same time and burst out laughing. You see as a child of my generation, we got hit over the head regularly with safe sex training, but what he really meant was "Safeguarding God's Children" training (which I do have), but it was a darn funny thing to say.

I confess I didn't feel anything particularly special in taking Eucharist to this family. They are some of my favorite people on the planet but it didn't feel any different than I generally feel during the Eucharist when I am surrounded by the People of God. It is one of the ways that I know that I am not called to the priesthood but called to lay ministry. I don't feel called to reconciliation at the table, it isn't who I am. I am confident in that. I did appreciate the laugh about safe sex training though, and will be happy to be licensed to be an official LEV. I do think that it might help my ministry with young people and families, while expanding it in ways that I didn't really think of before.

Pocket Frog

2011-03-30T18:12:00.000-07:00

Okay so I have to just state for the record that Pocket Frogs is evil. It is a mind wasting, time sucking delight, and I am having trouble putting down my iPad. I recommend it to all who are not bothered by virtual frog eugenics taking up their spare time.

John 4:5-42

2011-03-21T17:02:00.000-07:00

I like Wordle, I find it a useful tool. Lately when I am looking at the Lectionary for the week I have taken to entering the Gospel into Wordle to get another perspective. Here is the wordle for this week's Gospel According to John

I'm Back - I Think

2011-03-21T16:02:00.000-07:00

I am back, well I think I am back. It has been more than a year since my last post and I haven't really had much of a desire to write. Honestly I still think that I question whether I have anything interesting to say, but I must also admit that I find writing a challenge. I don't find that it comes easily to me and I always question what I have written. I am not writing this as an excuse, although it does sound that way, but I am writing it as an honest comment on where I am coming from.

Honestly though I haven't written in a long time because I simply haven't had the time. A new job always exhausts me and I forget how exhausting it can be until I look back and realize that I have been running so hard, so fast that I haven't always taken care of the little things. I also know that when I get going I tend to lose the ability to be introspective in the way that I need to be to write well, or to even write at all. Other things tend to fall out the window along with introspection when I am busy, primarily self-care. So I suppose that I should work on both writing more frequently and work on self-care, and yet I have to admit to some reluctance to doing both. Both take energy and when I am working hard I don't want to spend my energy on something that is not ministry that people see. I know that self-care and writing are really about my ministry to myself, taking care of this body and mind that God has given me, but I am much better at ministry to others than I am at ministry to myself. Ministry to me feels selfish, no matter how I try to spin it. I can encourage others into self-care but I have trouble getting past my own barriers to self care. Perhaps that is the commitment that I should have made this Lent, not to taking something away, or reading a book, or meditative prayer every day, but making a much bigger commitment to myself, engaging in real and active self-care.

Yep it is only two weeks into Lent but now I seem to have enough self-reflection to get to what I the difficult action is that I should be engaging in this Lent. Go Figure!

No Posts

2009-09-03T20:13:00.004-07:00

I have not posted lately which is of course apparent. But I figured I would throw a confession up regardless. I am not posting because I am finding it so hard to put into words all the things which are blowing about in my brain right now. In no particular order... anxiety, fear, sadness, excitement. Okay so all of those are pieces of anxiety. I cannot put them in order because quite frankly the order changes from minute to minute. I keep remembering the song my mother used to sing when we were being particularly difficult "They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha, Ha". It feels so appropriate right now.

I am scared of change, it is one of my huge challenges and not one that I relish. I am honestly scared of my drive. My family doesn't have good history with driving in September and this scares me. I hope that my sisters don't put this all together. I am scared of the difficultly of building up a new community and social network. It requires me putting myself out in ways that are not comfortable but it also means that my life is harder on yet another front. It is certainly one of the challenges of being single without family. I don't have a built in community with me.

I don't have great control over when my condo sells and that only feels a little bit scary. I am trusting in the process and hoping that the right person will walk through the door soon and see the possibilities and love that it is move in ready and huge. I can't really worry about it because I have no control over it, nor can I imagine that I have control over it. That is unique for me.

I hate saying good-bye to my amazing community here in DC. The more people I say good-bye to the harder it gets. Tonight was a particularly challenging one, saying good-bye in particular to a great friend. It is made a little bit easier by the fact that we are from the same home town so can generally assume that we will be in the same place at the same time once again, if only for a short time. I know that this weekend, saying good-bye to my St. Thomas community is going to be very difficult. It will be a joyous time, as it involves a wedding but oh it will be bittersweet. Quite frankly I am just in denial that I am saying good-bye to Sarah, just going to ignore that.

I am excited to begin a new challenge and there is no doubt in my mind that this will be a challenge. A good challenge but a challenge none the less. I love working with Howard and believe that he has found a unique congregation that will be a delight to minister with. I am excited to minister with a new congregation and in a new diocese, and heck a new province. I am excited to be with my chosen family again even though it will be in a different way.

I am keeping my mantras in mind. "This is a marathon, not a sprint." "You have to go home and not stay in the office just because going home will be lonely." "Go find non-church friends!"

Wedding Entrance

2009-07-24T04:54:00.002-07:00

So this morning I saw that a friend had posted this video to another wall as a suggestion for a couple's upcoming wedding. Initially I just thought of it as a fun idea and something for a giggle but then I started to think a little more about it.

I know that I have several friends who would be appalled at this in an Episcopal church and would look down their noses at this processional. That actually might be just plain Episcopal, to look down one's nose at something liturgically, but there was something special about this entrance. It seemed to not only reflect upon the couple getting married themselves, but the wedding party, and the congregation. In interviews in the past several weeks and various conversations I have been asked how to create youth friendly services or separate services for youth. On the one hand I have led them through an exercise about what worship experiences that were "mountain top" for them. I also though asked them to think about why it might be that the youth don't feel welcome or called to be in the normal Sunday morning worship services. I wonder how accessible some services are and how flexible those of us sitting in the pews are to change and worship looking a little bit different are.

Off the HOB/D List Serve

2009-07-20T18:09:00.002-07:00

For those of you who have never been on or have left, here is a bit of humor from the House of Bishops/Deputies list serve. Just to prove that they aren't always debating, sometimes they are laughing. I wonder if the Good Shepherd ever thought of doing this.

Prayer of Confession

2009-07-19T21:01:00.002-07:00

Today at St. Thomas we prayed an unusual Prayer of Confession. I like it so much that I want to print it up for my new office, but I thought it was worth sharing as well.

When we measure our worth by the number of hours we spend at our desks,

Forgive us, Lord.

When we fail to notice that the snow has melted and the trees are budding,

Forgive us, Lord.

When finishing one more project is more important than comforting a hurting friend,

Forgive us, Lord.

When the calendar guides our lives more than Scripture does,

Forgive us, Lord.

When we proclaim that grace is free to all and then act as if we must earn our salvation,

Forgive us, Lord.

Missy with quotations

2009-07-11T17:16:00.003-07:00

Yesterday morning (on my birthday) I spoke in front of the Church Pension Group committee hearing on resolution A138 which is a canonical change for lay pensions. This morning that resolution passed overwhelmingly in the House of Bishops.

I was incredibly nervous when I spoke and actually threw out my prepared statement after I heard Dennis Sullivan, CPG President, spoke. As he was speaking I realized that the church has been discussing lay pensions nearly my entire life. So I began with my prepared statement and then departed. I heard a gasp when I said that the church has been working on this my entire life and that was long enough. I left the hearing shortly after speaking because I needed to head to the Education committee hearing to look in on some resolutions that I authored. After the Education hearing I sat outside in the hallway to listen to messages and get the best birthday song ever sung by my godson. As the CPG staff walked out many of them smiled at me and mouthed "good job" or "thanks".

Yesterday afternoon after I spoke I ran into Mary Frances Schjonberg who covered the hearing for Episcopal News Service. She said that she quoted me when she filed her story, it made me a little bit nervous but I figured what the heck. The story appeared in the ENS releases late last night and in the convention daily this morning.

It is odd to have this going on around me. I prepared to speak and yet through everything out at the last minute. I am glad that I did but it still feels a little bit weird. It was also weird to really see myself identified as a part of the Diocese of Washington in print.

A General Convention Primer

2009-07-01T07:58:00.003-07:00

For those of you heading to General Convention and for those of you just wondering what all the fuss is about, here is a really good video primer on what General Convention is and some major legislation for this General Convention from the Diocese of Southwest Florida. Enjoy!

BCP is a Girl's Best Friend

2009-07-01T07:56:00.002-07:00

In case people still think that Episcopalians don't have a sense of humor, here is a lovely video about what a girl's best friend really is.

Straight Outta Compline

2009-06-26T10:26:00.002-07:00

I know that I haven't written in a while and I do have thoughts stacked up but I really had to share this one today. I am giggling all over the place because of this really brilliant video. Such a creative pair!

Kevin Smith Last Supper

2009-04-17T14:11:00.004-07:00

Continuing with the pop culture Last Supper theme, is today's piece from the great satirist Kevin Smith.

What I love about someone doing a Last Supper piece with the characters from Kevin Smith movies is that Kevin Smith is pretty honest about his love for religion and the Catholic church. If you look at Dogma he obviously knows his material on a variety of levels. His movies are an example of the way in which we can poke fun at ourselves and our beliefs to find a deeper meaning. One of my favorite moments was the night I got a call from the members of the senior high youth group who were sitting at Dairy Queen. They had watched Dogma as a group (on their own) several nights before and were discussing whether they were hypocrites for the beliefs that they professed to hold. I simply could not resist joining them in their discussion. It was one of the moments when I not only realized that I had helped to do something to make a difference but that I loved those youth more than I realized. I also realized once again how stone cold brilliant they all were. So this Last Supper is dedicated to Kari, Caitlin, Jody, Emmalee, Adam and Peter.

Star Wars Last Supper

2009-04-14T19:56:00.006-07:00

Today a friend sent me a link to an interesting blog called Popped Culture. The blog has been running a collection of Last Supper paintings modeled after the great piece of artwork by Leonardo da Vinci known by Godly Play teachers and Dan Brown fans alike. I thought over the course of this week I might share some of the ones that particularly click for me. I am sure that regular readers and my friends will be utterly shocked by the ones that I have choosen.

First off is this piece by Eric Deschamps who was commissioned by Giant magazine to create a Star Wars Last Supper in honor of the release of Star Wars Episode III.

I love so many things about this idea, not the least of which is the way in which a piece of artwork that tells a story from the Bible has had such an effect on our modern culture some 500 years after it was painted. I wonder in what ways the church is still having this effect today?

A New Generation

2009-04-13T18:17:00.004-07:00

My friends know that I have this unusual fascination with the Duggars. If you are not familiar with them check out this information from Wikipedia or from their own website. I am not a big fan of reality television and don't really watch any other reality shows, but I try to never miss an episode of the various Duggar shows. I even joyfully watch episodes that I have seen before. While I find them a little bit odd, I also find things to respect about them. I even admit that sometimes I am a little jealous of their certainty about their path. They seem to see the world in black and white, while I rarely see anything other than various shades of grey.

So naturally today when I saw the news that another generation of Duggars is breeding I was just a little bit excited. Oldest son Josh married Anna last fall and they just announced that they are expecting their first child on the Today Show. You can see the video from the announcement too.

Proud Iowan

2009-04-13T17:36:00.004-07:00

Okay so most people know what my home state did a little more than a week ago. The state supreme court decided that a ban on same-sex marriage was against the constitution. YIPPIE! I am excited about this for so many reasons. Right now my biggest excitement though is because my cousin Michael is due to marry his partner Heath on May 9th in Des Moines. I am tickled pink about this.

Recently a good friend sent me this cartoon about Iowa's newest decision.
All sorts of people have written interesting pieces about the state. Including those who at one point were Iowans like this article from Ross Hyzer who was my neighbor growing up. Or this piece from the New York Times op-ed page which made me tear up. I honestly didn't know that Iowa had that kind of a history. Maureen Dowd wrote about Iowa in a piece that was semi-mocking but really all in good fun, as we Iowans love a good Iowa joke when we hear one, well as long as it is funny.

I learned a lot about Iowa over the past week. I didn't know that the University of Iowa in 1847 became the first public university to admit women and men on an equal basis. I also didn't know that Iowa in 1851 ended restrictions on interracial marriage, more than a century before the US Supreme Court ruled it illegal.

Today a friend wrote me that she felt she couldn't be a part of the Episcopal Church any longer because the Bishop of Iowa Alan Scarfe said that he couldn't allow priests in the state to sign marriage licenses. I wish that it were different. I know why Alan cannot do so and am disappointed that we as a church aren't there yet. I also feel though that part of my responsibility as an Episcopalian is to change from within and not leave. I know it isn't the choice that everyone will make, nor should they but it is the choice that I am making. Grumble, there is nothing like taking the hard way out.

The Choir of the House of Bishops

2009-04-13T17:31:00.002-07:00

It is nice to know that Bishops do have some fun together. Here is a little video of the choir from the House of Bishops. I find it particularly fun to watch Eugene Sutton stand in the corner but that is just because I like to mock Eugene. Yes I mock bishops. Many of us do, I just am doing it in public. Really you should have seen what we did to him at work last spring. Then again that was before he was a bishop. Bonus points for the number of bishops that you can correctly name.

Iowa State Song

2009-03-30T18:15:00.003-07:00

On Sunday morning I stayed very close to my radio awaiting the "Your Letters" section of NPR Weekend Edition Sunday. I had heard a rumor that my Uncle Tom's historical and vocal skills were going to be featured. Tom is currently on the staff of Graceland College, which has no connection to Elvis at all, and is the former head of the Iowa State Historical Society. You can hear the spot here, it begins about one minute ten seconds into the piece.

Tom was responding to the NPR story last week on the song for the State of Maryland, which takes a rather strong stance on "Northerners". When he wrote his letter, NPR called him to ask some questions and then asked him to sing a little bit of the song. Thankfully Tom is descended from Nana Lois and has a great set of pipes.

Congrats Uncle Tom on your 22 seconds of fame.

The Good Samaritan

2009-03-12T20:17:00.002-07:00

Okay I confess, sometimes I get sick of the parables. I know they are the stories that Jesus told, and I know that they are special. Sometimes though it just feels like whenever those stories come up I hear the same damn sermon every time. Or the same fraking lesson when it is taught. So I am thankful to Mad Priest for putting together a bit of a twist and a retelling of the story over at "Of Course I Could Be Wrong". He retells the story as the Parable of the Good Nigerian. I enjoy it because it does deal with that continual issue of "What the hell is a Samaritan?" and "Why is it so unusual to have a good one?"

Best Video Ever

2009-03-12T20:07:00.004-07:00

Okay so a brag moment now. One of my favorite people has a great video out there to plug the Minnesota Boys State Hockey Tournament for KSTC-TV. I am so impressed by this video. He is the editor and quite frankly I think that he just slammed this one home. I would seriously advocate for awards for this if I had any pull at all. But of course in this area I got nothing. So instead I share with you for your enjoyment. Nicely done Chad! Check out the video for yourself.

At the moment the video is only on Facebook, so you might have trouble seeing it, but if you are my friend then you can check it out. And if you are not my friend then I ask, why the heck not?

Twilight The Puppet Saga

2009-03-02T18:19:00.002-08:00

Okay I am highly amused by this little piece of work. It is Twilight but with puppets. I confess I read the books but really had trouble getting into the movie. It was just kitchy.

The Divine Hours

2009-02-11T06:53:00.002-08:00

The Divine Hours Pocket Edition by Phyllis Tickle is available for my Kindle! YIPPIE! Yep now I can take the Divine Hours with me where ever I go. So I ask you. Where would you take the Divine Hours?

A Poem

2009-02-01T20:43:00.002-08:00

In December one of my sister's friends died from cancer. The next day I found out that a friend and former co-worker of mine has liver cancer. Tonight as I was going through my emails I discovered several poems that he sent to me before he left the Cathedral. This is one of them.

Fireflies

I have not seen them in a while,
These little liquid emeralds.
Lacking quicksilver,
“Lightning bugs” seems silly to call them.

Again among their vacillation,
Unilluminated, I stroll,
Through thicker dusk than yours, I think,
Not unfamiliar, coalescing into twilight.

I linger no longer than their faint blinking,
Looking at apparently impenetrable vegetation;
But shadows never condense to endless depth,
However velvet the folded moisture.

Textures emerge chromaticised:
Floating leaves, elevated petals,
Hover on air heavier than they are,
Where evanescent lights turn their oars,
As humble as slumber, tumbling forward,
Pendulous and soft as late summer fruit.

I recall I tracked them across my grandparents’ lawn,
And caught them in a jar, lid punctured for air,
To hold in bed, to watch their steady light
Reassure each other and my troubled heart
With my promise to let them go tomorrow
Until I slept.

Michael Wyatt
Vispera de San Juan, 2002 (23 June)

Gene Robinson on The Daily Show

2009-01-22T13:16:00.002-08:00

The Daily Show website finally has the clip of +Gene and Jon Stewart on the website. For those of you who missed it, and for those of you who like me cannot stop watching it check it out.

Winter in Iowa Poem

2009-01-16T12:18:00.004-08:00

A family member sent me this lovely little poem & picture about winter in Iowa which I now get to share with you.

It's winter in Iowa
And the gentle breezes blow,
70 miles per hour at 52 below!
Oh, how I love Iowa
When the snow's up to your butt;
You take a breath of winter air
And your nose is frozen shut.
Yes, the weather here is wonderful,
I guess I'll hang around.
I could never leave Iowa ,
'Cause I'm frozen to the ground.

GOEs Day Two

2009-01-06T15:42:00.010-08:00

Day two of the GOEs has officially ended. I just spoke with my best friend who is currently taking them and our conversation consisted of one word answers and statements on her part and gross verbage on my part. In all fairness I have had Gilmore Girls on all day which frequently increases not only the speed and rapidity of my language but also my sarcasim level. So it was really unfair of me to speak with any individual who is currently being subjected to the GOEs.

For today's humor I encourage checking out Elizabeth Kaeton's blog Telling Secrets, for her suggestions on a seminary education that would explore the realities of parish ministry. Please remember that this is humor people, something that some members of the House of Bishop & Deputies list serve neglected to pick up on. Come on people we are Episcopalians, we laugh!

Cake or Death with Legos

2009-01-05T11:41:00.005-08:00

Today on the GOE humor page I repeat a favorite from this summer. Of course I haven't seen it with Legos yet though. So file this one for use in your Church History section of the test. It is Eddie Izzard explaining why the Inquisition wouldn't have worked in the Anglican church. Thanks to Mike who is honorary Episcopal Prince for the, for pointing it out to this Episcopal Princess.

General Ordination Exams

2009-01-04T15:40:00.003-08:00

In honor of the GOEs being taken by countless Episcopal seminary seniors this week I have decided to dedicate my blog posts to humor. So to begin I offer you this little piece from the Reduced Shakespeare Company for those of you who might have to answer a question on the 10 Commandments. Perhaps these Top 10 Rejected Commandments will be amusing. It is from their show "The Bible: The Complete Word of God (abridged)"

Warning Swear Words

2008-12-17T16:02:00.002-08:00

As warned in the title this entry may contain swear words. I know you may say that those are words which are used by people who don't have a large enough vocabulary to come up with a better word but quite frankly sometimes the word fuck just is the perfect word. So today I will use it in one specific phrase FUCK CANCER!

For the past several weeks I have watched my sister watch one of her closest friends die of leukemia. Leslie was an amazing young woman who lost her battle with cancer yesterday morning. She was amazing for who she was but also for being a woman who managed to get under my sister's tough private exterior and find the remarkable woman (and true goofball inside). I first met Leslie when I went to visit my sister at Lafayette and saw the rugby team play. Now this was a group of women who kicked butt on the field, could drink just like any other team but had a unique quality in the rugby world, they all looked like models quite frankly. I know the mental image of a women's rugby team and they played against many who fit this stereotype but not the women of Lafayette. They kicked other teams to the sidelines and looked gorgeous doing it. If I had been cheering for another team I might have despised them but since I am a Lafayette fan I cheered them on and took way to many pictures.

Today I opened up an e-mail from a friend and former co-worker who was kindly passing on the message that another former co-worker and friend was diagnosed with liver cancer. REALLY? Come on. What the frak is up with this crap called cancer? Yes I know that I said that there would be swearing and I just used frak but that is a swear word in another universe regardless of its status as a fictional universe. So I am just pissed off. What in the hell is wrong with a world that has cancer?

I just got off of the phone with my sister and she seems remarkably okay. She is quiet and subdued, working on turning a collection of pictures into a video for Leslie's friends and getting ready for dinner with Leslie's fiance. As true Hawkinson (maternal side of the family) do, we talked little about feelings and more about how to make the video work in imovie. I offered to do it for her and then discovered that she has 300+ photos and realized that perhaps we should play with it when we get to Iowa instead. So much easier to work around our feelings. So tonight I am going to search for Leslie playing rugby pics for Minds to use if she would like, and to laugh at if she doesn't need them.

Star Wars Fun

2008-12-14T18:46:00.002-08:00

Today over at ThinkGeek, you can find the perfect Chrismukkah present for your favorite Star Wars fan, a Darth Vadar USB hub, complete with real Vadar breathing action. I would of course be completely into this little toy if I had any extra space on my desk for Star Wars fun and frivolity.

Anglican Church in North American

2008-12-14T06:54:00.004-08:00

Is it at all ironic that one of the arguments that those leaving the Episcopal Church have made suggests that the church is too based on imperialism, yet they choose to call their new province "The Anglican Church in North America"? I get it really I do, you want to identify with Anglicans but didn't they call it Episcopal because in some ways we didn't want to identify too closely with England and instead hang with our buddies in Scotland? Then again I suppose if we look too closely under any of the tablecloths covering our respective tables we might find all sorts of irony. Debating about all sorts of thing is a fun Anglican tradition but is anyone else just sick to death of all the fighting? A youth once said to me "We aren't going to be done with this until they are dead are we?" I responded that I hoped that we would be but I wasn't holding out a whole lot of hope, but that I was sticking with it.

Compliments

2008-12-06T22:01:00.002-08:00

This week has been full of ups and downs.

I had a great conversations with my mother. She told me that she though I was called to Christian Formation. It was a great thing to hear because she hasn't really said that in quite that way before. Then she said "...but I think you are called to a church that doesn't quite know what to do with you, and maybe isn't ready."

On Friday I was rejected for a position without getting an interview. It made me question all sorts of things. The next letter I opened was from a former boss/mentor/friend/priest/pastor/pseudo-parent, who wrote "Missy, I know the right ministry will come along soon. You are so very talented and drop dead brilliant." Funny how those two things were in the mailbox together. Also in the mailbox was the most recent statement on my 401K, which I didn't open. Why bother? Although I could have used a giggle.

A friend gave me a lovely compliment today, he told me I was a prophet. And then he reminded me that the life of a prophet is not at all fun. I tried to deflect by remembering that the time of the prophets ended after the deaths of Haggai, Zechariah, and Malachi. Then I remembered that try as I might, I am not actually Jewish and we Christians actually don't think that the time of prophets is over. CRAP. So instead I deflected with the age old technique of whining "But I want an easy life."

Yet another friend wrote in an e-mail that I seemed "fabulously even-keeled". Slightly curious about the totally twisted people he knows that make me look even-keeled, but I love him for it regardless.

I will not write tonight about the questions that are tumbling through my brain which make me seem less than even-keeled but I will soon. I am finding myself full of considerably more questions than answers. Looking at doors and not knowing which are open and which are closed. Which might open and which remain locked. The unknown generally terrifies me and I have a little valve on my terror which I open up to relieve the pressure little by little. If I open it wide I am afraid it might swallow me whole. Instead I relieve the pressure and maintain my sanity. Or at least the minor grasp on sanity that I currently have. Heck I have to work with what I have.

Chanticleer on the Today Show Part 2

2008-12-05T23:19:00.000-08:00

Chanticleer on the Today Show

2008-12-05T23:17:00.001-08:00

My favorite vocal group Chanticleer was on the Today show on Friday morning, with one of my favorite people, Matt Oltman.

Created in Love

2008-11-25T21:42:00.002-08:00

Last week I spent an entire day with my Aunt Judy, my mother's sister while I was in Ft. Lauderdale. We shopped, walked, talked, ate and played tile rummy (a Hawkinson family staple). At dinner we talked for a long time about many a topic, some of which I can share here and will over time, and others which are too private to share. I love talking to Judy because she is one of the few people that I can really talk to about my grandmother. She tells me stories that I don't know, stories that occurred before I was born or before I was entirely conscious of my surroundings.

This time I heard stories about my grandparents courtship and love, and I heard stories about my parents. My parents have been divorced for several years and I don't remember much of them being truly happy with each other, but rather remember bits and pieces of their happiness with each other. My aunt told me of how my parents once were, how they adored each other. I know that time existed, I have one picture in particular that shows it intensely. It made me think for the first time that I came into this world through an act of love and it seemed to change the way that I felt at my core. It is not that I thought I had been created in another way, I just hadn't thought about it before. I began to think that all four of the children in my family were created out of love and the importance of that. I know that I should have known this all along and I blame no one for me not knowing. I am glad that I realize it now, and that I have something new to think about.

In Case You Were Curious

2008-11-23T17:43:00.003-08:00

For those of you wondering why I haven't commented on the recent news that emerged from Washington National Cathedral. I could pretend that I was trying to channel my grandmother, Nana Lois, who was not capable of saying a bad word about anyone or anything. I could pretend that my lack of comment is because I don't care anymore. The reality is that I still care deeply and I am disappointed and frustrated, but have to watch my tongue and my fingers. So I bite my tongue, something that I am usually ill-inclined to do.

Didn't Even Have a Chance to Miss Her

2008-11-19T21:26:00.004-08:00

The Rev. Jan Nunley is back. Didn't know she was gone? Well it was a little quick for those of us who live out here in non-815 land (yeah tell us to call it The Church Center all you want but honestly it isn't the center of the church so I am going to be a brat and not join the nickname change) but she left the Church Center and has struck out on her own at Jawbones. Go check her out. Today's posting made me giggle. Rev. Nunley seems to be a little cold at home, where she lives with the Ice Princess, who I can completely relate to. I am almost embarrassed to admit that I turned on the furnice at my house today, it is set at 64. What can I say I spent the weekend in Ft. Lauderdale and after living in DC for almost 3 years my blood is beginning to thin.

Jawbones is a little different than the work at EpiScope but the characteristic wit that I enjoy is back. So welcome back to the blog-o-sphere Rev. Nunley. Thankfully we didn't have time to miss you.

Back Again

2008-11-19T20:18:00.004-08:00

I returned from Ft. Lauderdale late last night, on an entirely uneventful plane ride. Today I spent more of time during the day than I thought I would being embarrassed and avoiding people who said "you look great". Avoiding it because I never deal with compliments well, they might make me feel good and I avoid that whenever possible. But I had a hard time lying to myself when I looked in the mirror. Of course I saw all of the problems that I usually see but I also saw a little reality. I looked more alive, more slender, less pasty, and saw life in my eyes. Honestly I liked it.

When I looked in the fridge and cupboards for meals today there wasn't a thing I wanted to eat. Of course not. For the past few days I had feasted on seared tuna salads, gazpacho, veal, red tail snapper, pita chips, key lime truffles, and key lime pie. We shopped for food at least every other day and it was wonderfully fresh.

I fell asleep at night looking out my bedroom wall of windows which looks out over the inland waterway, and towards downtown. When I wake up in the morning I look up to see a full sky and endless light, even on cloudy days.

So here is what I am trying to figure out. I cannot live in Ft. Lauderdale all the time, because it is my sanctuary and if you move to your sanctuary then you don't have one anymore. So how do I bring a bit of my sanctuary home to DC? That is what I get to work on for a little while.

Strange Gifts in Unexpected Places

2008-11-15T20:32:00.002-08:00

Yesterday I spent 13 hours in Washington National Airport. It wasn't by choice. I was supposed to depart on a trip to Ft. Lauderdale at 7:10 am. After putting everyone on the plane we were all asked nicely to get back off the plane and remain the the terminal. This was more than an hour after our scheduled departure time. It turned out that one computer (out of 7) was broken and we couldn't take off. So they began the search for the missing part. It wasn't found at DCA, it wasn't found at Dulles or Baltimore either. Eventually they decided that the part would be flown in from Ft. Lauderdale on a plane that would arrive at 1 pm, or so they told us. At 1 pm they decided that they would give us $7 vouchers for lunch. That is not quite enough money to eat at the airport, but it didn't really matter because most of us had already gotten lunch. At 2:10 pm they announced that the part had arrived. At 6 pm we saw the mechanic arrive to install the part, that process took 10 minutes. I don't know why it took 4 hours for the part to be installed. Spirit gave us a line about waiting for a US Air courier to bring the part from their part of the airport to our terminal, it was only one of the frustrating aspects of our day.

We finally left DCA shortly after 7pm with a flight crew that was simply amazing. They had stayed in the terminal all day, speaking with customers, trying to calm frustrated people, and generally trying to be a source for information that was incredibly lacking. Once we got on the plane they told us that we would have free beverages and snacks, which we had heard them fighting with the company to provide for us. After we were completely airborne the pilot announced that he had a bit of inflight entertainment planned for us. He had recalculated our flight times and speeds so that we would flight directly past Cape Canaveral at the exact moment when the shuttle Endeavor would be taking off. He even slowed down as we were going over so that we could see. So last night, out of my plane window I got to see the shuttle launch, which I have wanted to see for as long as I can remember, from 30 miles away and at 3800 feet. It might be one of the most incredible things that I have ever seen. For me it ranks right up there with being in the House of Deputies when the election of Katharine Jefferts Schori as the Presiding Bishop of The Episcopal Church was announced. The whole left side of the plane was lit with an orange glow as the shuttle rose into the air. We saw the SRB separation, and continued to see a bright white glow as it rose into the night sky. Honestly it totally made up for the day of sitting in the airport. It was totally, utterly and completely incredible. I took pictures and video but was too distracted to see if they turned out at all. So instead here is this video from the AP.

What If Starbucks Marketed Like a Church?

2008-11-15T13:29:00.001-08:00

An interesting video on church marketing from the crew over at Beyond Relevance.

More Selling God

2008-11-11T20:26:00.004-08:00

After I blogged yesterday about advertising and church today I heard an interesting piece on "Marketplace" from American Public Media on how companies are adjusting their Super Bowl commercials in light of the current economic stress. It looks at how in the past when we were rolling in our pretend dough, the advertisements focused on the good life and how good it can be. Now advertisers are taking a cue from the old play book and moving their commercial presence to a "we are all in this together" mentality, and are trying to connect emotionally with their customers. So how can the church operate in this changing economic world?

And now I am off to try and figure out how to get the song out of my head "We're All In This Together" from High School Musical. Crud. But now you will have it stuck in your head too. He he. But at least this way we can all enjoy Kenny Ortega choreography.

Selling God

2008-11-09T21:18:00.003-08:00

Early Saturday morning I received a phone call from two of my favorite people asking if they could perhaps crash on my couches for the rest of the night. I was delighted to see them and spent another hour up talking and laughing at my dining room table before returning to my bed. During the conversation, as I spoke about my week, I said that I had a job idea. Before I could finish my sentence one of my friends said "Are you selling God? Because I want to get in on that." It was said jokingly and I laughed it off but began to think a little more about it later.

Of course I was immediately thought it was slightly offensive which caused my laughter, as inappropriate religious humor made at my expense usually does. Now I am thinking about sales and the ways in which our society is focused around sales and purchasing and how that affects our relationship with God and our relationship with religion. Advertisements are everywhere, everything that I look at in an urban area has an advertisement these days it seems. Naturally as a church we try to avoid that way of communicating, because it seems unauthentic in so many ways, but are we missing out on communicating with people in the very ways that they are most used to being communicated with?

Don't get me wrong I am not advocating "selling God" yet but I am raising a question. How do we as a church "sell" ourselves and our very important message? Are we communicating in ways that people will hear us and the Good News? How are we showing our unique ways of dialogue to the world? Are we mostly waiting for people to come to us or do we go looking for them?

Yes I realize that this post is really in many ways about evangelism, but that is one of the scariest words for Episcopalians so I thought starting my post might defeat the purpose of my questions. How do we as a church evangelize? We haven't been great at it in the past and so are already playing a game of catch-up. So what if we turn the problem on its head? Instead of playing catch up, what if we were to throw the play book out the window and start someplace else entirely? How do we do that? I have some ideas but I would really love to hear ideas from others.

Prop 8 Comment

2008-11-04T21:05:00.003-08:00

The Rt. Rev. Marc Andrus, Bishop of California said this about Prop 8:

"The people who were born after the Apollo pictures of the Earth seen from space represent the first people who will fully inhabit a new consciousness. Those of us, like myself, who took this amazing picture in as someone already living on the Earth, had to learn this consciousness; for those born after me it is their birthright.

The recognition of the civil rights of lesbian, gay, transgendered and bisexual people is part of the broad shift in consciousness towards which we are moving. Same-sex marriage in California is an important vehicle in the on-going work of making sure all American citizens enjoy the same rights in civil society.

This shift in consciousness, including same-sex marriage, is a move towards the good. I affirm this from a spiritual, religious point of view. As a Christian, I view the trajectory of history as moving us towards global reconciliation and global justice. The Gospels tell us that Jesus said that God's love is pervasive. He used the idea of rain and sunshine, both of which fall on all the world, irrespective of people's prejudices about who is deserving or who is not.

If Proposition 8 passes, which I hope it does not, those of us committed to civil rights for all will simply continue to hope, and continue to work. Perseverance, knowing that God continues to travel with those who are disenfranchised, is a path we know. I trust, however, that the great Californians with whom I live will continue their tradition of forging ahead towards what lies before our whole great country."

I want to add something else to the Bishop's comments. I see how he uses Apollo for his jumping off point and I believe that in the Episcopal church we have another generational line, those of us who were formed by the 1979 BCP and the ordination of women and those who were formed by an earlier BCP. I was born in 1975 and do not remember a time when I there wasn't a woman at the altar, I believe that shapes who I am. I am shaped by a BCP which has at it's core the Baptismal Covenant. I am curious to see how those of us formed might shape the church now and in the future.

Discernment

2008-11-02T12:14:00.003-08:00

One of the things that I love about watching movies is the way that sometimes a little piece can open up something inside. Yesterday morning I watched part of Center Stage, a movie that as a former dancer I get sucked into every time. Towards the end of the film one of the characters says that she wants to find something that she really loves as opposed to finding something that she is good at. I think that during this time of discernment for me it is a time for me to explore that very question. I am fairly sure that I am good at Christian formation, although as a Midwest native it is hard for me to admit that, but God has opened a door here for me to explore whether I do it because I am good at it or whether I do it because I really love it. How do I hear where God is calling me? I know that call comes out of community and I know that I have a call as a catechist, but I think that I have questions as to how I can best live out that call.

Whenever I have hit a wall I have consistently turned around to find a person who wanted to do some discernment about their path. Recently I have been talking to someone who is struggling with the diocesan discernment process for the priesthood. One of the things that I keep saying to him is to have some humility. So of course one of the questions that has turned in my brain has been my own humility. After I was turned down for a call that I really though I wanted this week I talked to a favorite mentor and friend. As I was talking to him I began to realize that humility is not my struggle but confidence is. It has continually challenged me, throughout my life so of course it is my struggle now. Funny thing when I tell this part of the story to my friends they just laugh and say something like "uh, no humility is not your problem". Thank goodness I have friends who can remind me to laugh at myself.

Happy All Saints Day!

2008-10-31T21:25:00.000-07:00

When is it My Turn?

2008-10-23T09:43:00.003-07:00

One of the statements that I hear routinely from young adults in the Episcopal Church is "At what point do I get to be a part of the leadership?" or "When does my voice get heard?" At my frustrated points I echo these voices, and wonder when I get to be old enough. Then I try to remember that I haven't waited for anyone to give me the ability to speak in years and if no one will open a door I have to do it myself. Then when the door gets shut I just have to figure out a different way through, or whether that was a door I was supposed to go through at all. Sometimes the door gets closed because that was never my path at all.

This old Muppet Show video though makes me laugh and remember that sometimes when the big one has a way of doing something, he doesn't create enough space for the little one to dance in his own way, which looks rather different. But it is still dancing. And sometimes the one coming next isn't going to be gentle about creating a place to grow. Plus it reminds me to always dance, even if I look like a goof.

Curious

2008-10-12T20:13:00.002-07:00

Yesterday was National Coming Out Day. It is a day that is internationally-observed even though it is still "national". So here is my question. What does it say that National Coming Out Day is the day after International Mental Health Awareness Day?

World Mental Health Day

2008-10-09T18:22:00.003-07:00

Tomorrow, October 10, is World Mental Health Day a day to raise awareness, advocate for and educated about mental health. I have a little bit of a history in this area. My senior year of high school I had what could only be described as a mental break down. I started crying one day and didn't stop for about 4 weeks. I slept most of the day, getting up 40 minutes before school started and going back to sleep about 30 minutes after the school day ended, that was on the days that I could get out of bed. I stopped eating. I felt like I was at the bottom of a very deep well that I couldn't see the sky from. Once I stopped crying my psychology teacher gave me a list of 10 items and asked which of the items I had, I admitted 9 because I didn't want her to think that I was in trouble if I admitted that I was feeling suicidal. She told me that if I had 4 then I was depressed. My father suggested I would feel better if I took a walk, my siblings were afraid of me, my mother was completely stumped I think. At the age of 19 I was finally diagnosed with Major Depression Disorder and Anxiety issues after a sorority sister found me in a puddle on the front steps of the house and said "we are going to the doctor tomorrow and we aren't leaving until they figure out what is wrong." The next day the doctor talked to me and said "you have depression, we need to get you treated."

I didn't get better right away, it took a cocktail of drugs and lots of therapy to get me to feel a little better 4 months later. For every step forward it felt like I slid two steps backwards. It took more than 10 years before I could say that I had the tools that I needed to not fall off the deep end again. I stopped medication 2 years ago, I am not sure that I will be able to stay off it for good but it is an interesting experiment and I am not sure that my life could be more of a roller coaster than it has been for the past 2 years.

I write this because it is my way of being an advocate for mental health. We have a society that is finally beginning to stop thinking about mental illness as something to be hidden under the rug. I don't have anything to be ashamed of and yet it was always a struggle to take my meds. I didn't like being medicated, I didn't like having to take medication just to take the edge off so that I could try to manage my emotions. When I meet people, particularly youth who are having trouble I share parts of my story. I don't keep it a secret. I do sometimes wonder if my life would have been different had someone close to me known what to do, but it doesn't really do me any good. I look back though to remember how unhealthy I was, to remind me of how much healthier I am now. It gives me a sense of victory and some increased confidence that I can keep going. I still have plenty of work to do but I know that I can do it.

Ft. Lauderdale

2008-10-04T18:46:00.002-07:00

I am spending some time in Ft. Lauderdale right now or Ft. Lalaland as some friends have taken to calling it. It is nice to be here. I haven't been here this early in the season before and it is really rather quiet. Most of the snowbirds seem to still be up north. I understand why. It is hot and muggy. Well it was until today when the sky opened up and the ocean fell down. I couldn't see downtown and had quite a bit of trouble seeing the house across the intercoastal. I am wondering why I only scheduled a one week trip and am rather tempted to go home and drive my car back down to stay for a while. It is 1000 miles so really rather long. I thought about putting my car on the Auto train but I couldn't bring my cat, Kes that way so it isn't an option. A friend suggested I not do anything rash so I am going to think about it a little while longer. Given my level of boredom right now perhaps that wouldn't be a great idea. Anyway for those of you curious, here is the view from my bedroom.

Live Blogging Clone Wars

2008-10-03T18:00:00.012-07:00

In honor of my friends who live blogged the vice-presidential debate last night I am going to attempt to live blog the premier of The Clone Wars this evening:

9:00 pm The voice over begins sounding strangely like Starship Troopers

9:01 pm Yoda speak begins and we see a Toydarian

9:03 pm Fervent prayers begin that this show will not be as absurd as the movie was

9:04 pm Nope the droids are just as stupid, were they constructed by Gunguns perhaps?

9:04 pm Why can't I stop looking at Yoda's teeth? They are freaky sharp.

9:05 pm Yoda just accepted a challenge for a pissing contest and started going all Buddhist

9:06 pm Yep droid troopers stupid again, did they really just ask what Yoda looks like?

Commercial break which makes me realize that I am no where near Cartoon Network's general audience.

9:11 pm Yoda issues the "don't fire until you see the whites of their eyes" command

9:12 pm Wondering how the droids ever defeated anyone

9:12 pm Clone troopers admit that to them Yoda is just as confusing as Palin is to the American people

9:13 pm Clone troopers lose track of Yoda who is busy giggling while he attacks droids

9:15 pm Yoda sits crossed leg and shows us that he is ready for his Godly Play class

9:17 pm Yoda decides it is nap time, everyone get out your mats oh and count your ammo supplies

9:18 pm Yoda just told the troopers that although they have the same face they look different in the force. Is this a lesson for the kids to don't judge a book by its cover? Nope just Yoda the fortune cookie.

9:19 pm Yoda proves that he can flip and jump better than the Chinese gymnastics team.

Commercial Break - Wii seems to be a big theme this break, perhaps I am suited to Cartoon Network. Nope never mind.

9:24 pm Ventress looks kind of like she forgot to wipe her face after she finishes her meal

9:26 pm Ventress still doesn't get that Yoda is Yoda and he doesn't die until Return of the Jedi, so she should really give up on the whole killing Yoda thing.

9:27 pm Yoda reminds everyone that it is rude to be late.

9:28 pm Ventress and Dooku try to cheat, think that they are perhaps Dark Jedi? But wait I thought there were always only two?

9:28 pm Yoda taunts Ventress, isn't that kind of like poking a sleeping dragon? Nope Yoda decides Ventress is just a coward.

9:29 pm Yoda wins a sword for his troubles. Really what is Yoda doing to do with a sword that doesn't even light up?

9:30 pm The episode ends. Missy shakes her head and misses the good old days of live action movies.

International Talk Like a Pirate Day

2008-09-19T11:31:00.005-07:00

Welcome once again to International Talk Like a Pirate Day. This is the perfect time to introduce you to the Pirate Eucharist. Faithful Episcopal Princess readers will remember this from last year but since the faithful readership numbers are small I thought I would re-post from last year. Check out last year's post for my witty thoughts on the Eucharist. What are yours?

Suggested hymns so far have included...

"Margaritaville"

"Cheeseburger in Paradise"

"Son of a Son of a Sailor"

"The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything" (Veggie Tales) - for the children's chapel

Big Game

2008-09-09T20:53:00.002-07:00

And now for a little something not at all Episcopalian. This weekend is a very important one in Iowa. It is the Iowa vs. Iowa State game. I am rather excited because this year I have fellow Iowa fans to watch it with. Okay well so far just one Iowa fan but it has been a while since I could truly do the Iowa fan thing. A sorority sister of mine, Andrea, who was one of those slightly older women who I thought was pretty darn cool, just moved to DC. It was great to catch up with here last week and this Saturday we are heading down to the Capitol Area Iowa Club game watch in Virginia. Once again I have found a new friend that I will be sorry to leave when I depart this the capitol city.

Just one more thing to say "GO HAWKS!"

Lessons in Anxiety

2008-09-05T14:00:00.002-07:00

It is safe to say that my anxiety level is higher than normal these days. I have discovered that I do not sit well in the unknown. I know there is a lesson in here for me, several in fact but one small lesson came recently. I spent the afternoon with one of my favorite people in the world, my godson Will. I picked him up from school and we went to play outside at the Cathedral. After about 30 minutes of play time we sat down to do homework. Will squirmed and squiggled but after about 10 minutes he began to calm down and concentrate on his work. As I watched him, pretending to read my book, I realized that he was humming something, probably unconsciously. He was humming "All Will Be Well". I realized that this was a piece that I needed to hear. All will be well, I don't know how and I don't know when, but it will be well. In the mean time it might be tough and uncomfortable but I hope that it will give me the gift of honoring sanity when I get there. It has also been a gift of realizing that 10 years ago I would not have made it this far. I am healthier. In the midst of all this chaos I am healthier. Not quite sane yet but I might get there.

Estelle Getty

2008-07-23T06:38:00.002-07:00

In honor of the death of a woman who brought lots of laughter into my life and the lives of others a little clip from Golden Girls. Rest in Peace you funny woman.

New Blog on Evangelism

2008-07-23T05:26:00.003-07:00

I ran across a rather new blog, Father T. Listens to the World, today which is written by the new Program Officer for Evangelism for the Episcopal Church Center. To say that I am initially impressed would be an understatement honestly. It is being set up as not only a resource site, which is needed given the state of confusion of the 815 site but also a place to connect and tell stories.

I don't know what to think of evangelism in the Episcopal Church but I do believe one thing pretty strongly. I think that the church constantly is asking people to meet us where we are as opposed to meeting them where they are. It sometimes feels like a test "are you really ready to join us?" or perhaps just fear of the unknown, only wanting people that we know will have the "right" outcome. I remember being hesitant about inviting a friend to come with me to church once because I fairly well knew that she and her two children wouldn't "fit in" with the rest of the congregation and I wanted church to be a positive experience for her. It is hard to look back on that. I really didn't think that she would have been happy at the Episcopal church and helped her to find a church that did fit for her but still to this day am saddened that I was afraid to bring her to my church home which was also my workplace.

So check out Fr. Terry's new blog. For those of you who have been long time Episcopal blog readers you might find it a bit of a tongue in cheek reference to an older blog, one which we didn't know the "name" of the mysterious blogger.

Anxiety

2008-07-20T11:48:00.002-07:00

These days I find myself flush with anxiety. Some of it is about the future, some of it is about the unknown all of it is making me nutz. I wake up in the middle of the night and cannot go back to sleep. I walk around with knit brows and don't really eat much. I am trying to figure out what to do with the next several months.

Last week my mom suggested that I might want to put my condo on the market, put my stuff in storage and move in with her for a little while. Of course I don't have to do this. I have severance from work for several more months, and I have money saved and yet this offer is so very appealing. I feel like running away and being taken care of. I am lonely and think that me living by myself when I am not working is not a great idea. And yet on some levels it feels like I am chickening out and just quitting. Is it quitting if I go home to Des Moines for a couple of months until I find where I am going next? Does it mean that I just cannot handle the real world? I looked into what it would cost and it wouldn't be all that much really. It would give me incentive to get my house ready to sell and pack up my stuff. Heck just the idea and plan has me packing four more boxes today and cleaning the kitchen. I would love some advice from those of you reading.

Christian Brokeback Mountain

2008-07-17T15:30:00.001-07:00

So what would Brokeback Mountain look like if it were a conservative Christian film? I don't say what would it look like if it were a Christian film because I think on many levels it is. Here is a lovely video that gives us an interesting idea and a great laugh.

Changes on the Screen

2008-07-16T22:16:00.003-07:00

If you ever visit you might have noticed that something has changed. I am experimenting with changing the appearance of my blog. Honestly I am bored with it an entirely sick of the pink look. I don't even like the color so why have I been torturing myself with it. I still haven't figured out a good way to work my favorite color into the layout though, so if you have any brilliant ideas of how to work orange in I am willing to play with options.

Feel free to share your thoughts, or just point and laugh.

More Eddie Izzard

2008-07-16T22:00:00.005-07:00

For today another Eddie Izzard video from You Tube. Now his take on religion, and of course the Anglican Church gets a good giggle. It is one of the things that I love about Anglicanism we laugh. As a mentor, Howard Anderson, frequently says "We should say, Let Us Play, as often as we say Let us Pray." Oh and he totally and completely nails the way that Anglicans sing hymns. It is hysterical.

Oh yes and I think he gets the Mormons correct too. I suppose this means that half of my family comes from Mars.

Cake or Death

2008-07-16T13:54:00.002-07:00

I do love humor about the Anglican Church and no more so then when it is right on. Ever wondered what the Inquisition would have looked like if it had been Anglican? Eddie Izzard has some ideas...

Churchy Fun

2008-07-14T16:58:00.002-07:00

My sister sent this to me a while ago. I think it is a great way to have fun.

Last Saturday

2008-07-01T09:23:00.003-07:00

Rehearsal of the service. This was shortly after a bishop asked John Chane why he got to read when it said JC. It was pretty funny.

The FOCUS banner. So cool that this was carried in the procession.

D'O, Howie & Will some of my favorite people in DC.

All of us together. Yep, it was hot and I was at work at 6:40 am that morning. I was totally ready for a nap. Howie & Linda got in the truck with Will shortly after this and drove off.

Last Great Service-Updated

2008-06-29T17:06:00.003-07:00

Tomorrow is my last day as an employee of Washington National Cathedral. In some ways I wish that yesterday had been, because yesterday was one of those days of a great party that only Episcopalians can throw. Yesterday the National Cathedral hosted the Diocese of Maryland as they consecrated their new bishop, Eugene Sutton, who we now get to call The Rt. Rev. Eugene Sutton. Eugene until now has been a great co-worker and partner in ministry who is off to the land of the pointy hats. The Washington Post had a great article, it tries to capture the excitement and energy of the day but I don't think that words possible could. The Baltimore Sun has an even better article. It has quotations from Howard Anderson where he pretty much hits Eugene on the head. Although he leaves out his little problem with finding the right bathroom. Hey I am allowed a cryptic comment every now and then.

The Episcopal church has this amazing way of being able to celebrate in incredible ways. We do all the celebrations well through liturgy, regardless of whether they are baptism, consecration or funeral. I have had the opportunity to be a part of some amazing services at the Cathedral, the Consecration and Installation of Katharine Jefferts-Schori as the Presiding Bishop, the Consecration of Eugene Sutton as Bishop of Maryland, the Prayer for Peace concert, the Ford funeral, the Centennial celebration and an amazing Pentecost service, the services for the Church for the 21st Century conference and countless others.

Tomorrow I will finish cleaning out my office and throwing away files, give one more tour and say good-bye. I have no idea where I will be going but I am trusting that God is laying out a path for me to follow even if I don't know where it will lead. "All will be well. All will be well. All manner of things will be well."

Anglican Square Dance

2008-06-26T15:13:00.001-07:00

Star in Your Own JibJab!In honor of the GAFCON and upcoming Lambeth meetings I thought I should share with you this lovely bit of communion humor. Wouldn't life just be easier if we could all have a dance when having a tough time?

Vacation Bible School

2008-06-26T15:05:00.002-07:00

Ahh, summer. The time when many a Christian Formation Director is found in full on panic as VBS season sets in. For those of you who are a bit behind and haven't yet chosen your topic for this year might a recommend these choice selections which were recently rejected by Gospel Light:

10. Welcome to the Harem: A Week with Solomon's Wives.
9. Sailing the Mediterranean: Greek Cities NOT Visited by Paul.
8. Rockin' With the Royal Family: Idolatrous Kings of the Northern
Kingdom
7. Fabulous Bible Fashions: Garments of the High Priest
6. Holy Health! Understanding the Skin Diseases of Leviticus
5. The Mysterious Silent Years of Methuselah
4. Snackin' With the Saints: The Dietary Laws of Leviticus
3. Heavenly Hairstyles: From Samson to John the Baptist
2. Quiverful: How the Levitical Law Affected Israelite Population Growth
1. The Big House: Spend Time with the Saints who DID Time!
"The Door Magazine"

Frogs Legs Humor

2008-06-26T15:01:00.002-07:00

This is the fairy tale that should have been read to us when we were little:

Once upon a time in a land far away, a beautiful, independent,self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issueson the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the princess' lapand said: " Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince,until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however,and I will turn back into the dapper, young prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I don't freakin think so.

Pope Jokes

2008-06-26T14:55:00.003-07:00

Okay, given my need for giggles these days I am going to post some more of the funnies that I have run across on my computer as I clear things out.

This one made me laugh for days.

And this is a rather different take on the Eucharist.

Xander

2008-06-25T16:34:00.003-07:00

I had to say good-bye to a friend of almost a decade yesterday, my dog Xander. I returned from a trip on Monday night to find a very unhappy and sick puppy. We rushed to the vet where they gave him fluids, pain meds and got him stable, then started tests. It took until yesterday morning to figure it all out, but it included kidney failure, liver failure and probably cancer although we didn't test far enough to determine that fully. While I could have treated the kidney failure with medicines and trips to the vet each week, it didn't seem like the best quality of life for Xander and the vet agreed with my decision. She recommended that we put him to sleep that day. I wanted to be there for it, but after talking with my mom she suggested that I might not want to do that. Mom had been there when she put our cats to sleep and said that it was very painful and now her last memory is of the light leaving their eyes.

Kesha and I have had a deal for a while that when it came time to put any of our animals to sleep we would be there for each other, but honestly I expected any of the animals but Xander to be first as he was the young one. So I called Kesh, rather hysterically and she agreed to go with me. We spent some time with Xander and he was obviously in horrible pain. They had given him some rather hefty pain meds before we got there and by the time we left he was entirely stoned. He even had a little stoned smile. It provided us with some rather great laughs as the tears streamed down our faces. Then the vet came to carry him back to the examination room promising to wait 15 minutes so that we could leave. It was hard not to run back into the room and tell her to stop, but that was what I would want, not what was best for Xander. My last memories of Xander are some great giggles and cuddling.

Good-bye dear friend. You had a good life and provided me with lots of love and laughter.

Matt, Liz and Follow Up

2008-06-18T20:37:00.003-07:00

Forgot to mention one thing. Another reason why I love this blog? They are Minnesotans. How can you not love Minnesotans? I know I am from Iowa but we love our fellow Midwesterners, particularly once Jesse Ventura was no longer governor and stopped making bad Iowa jokes.

Matt, Liz and Madeline

2008-06-18T16:52:00.003-07:00

For the past few months I have been reading this rather amazing blog, Matt, Liz and Madeline, which just pretty much knocks my socks off. It is written by a man (with a really attractive brother, just for the record) who has been through a rather unusual few months. Within 27 hours he became a father and a widower all at once. I have never met him and probably never will. Our lives are strangely close to each other in a 6 degrees of separation type of a way. I first read about him on my friend Sara's blog who doesn't actually know Matt either, but who knows of him through a friend. As I read his blog and alternately cried and laughed, and wanted to coo over his gorgeous daughter Madeline, I was amazed by the way in which he has been entirely open about the fact that his life is insane. I once told my friend Georgina that of course she was messed up, we all are and she should wave her freak flag high, it is just more honest. Well Matt waves his freak flag all over the place and it is so honest and real in a way that I wish we all were. Much more honest than pretending we have our shit together.

I began reading Matt's blog before the second memorial service for his wife, Liz, which took place in Minneapolis, where I think they are both from. Then while reading through my old friend Emilie's blog I discovered that she had been an old friend of Liz's as well. Emilie wrote a rather moving piece for Liz's memorial service. It gave me a perspective on Liz that was new and yet still from someone who loved her and whose life was different from having known Liz.

From the pictures I think that Liz's memorial service was in the same chapel that my cousin Molly was married in. The chapel is in the middle of a cemetery and is amazing, with all this tile art work inside and I think a crematorium in the basement (which thankfully wasn't working during my cousin's wedding). This speaks more to the unusual nature of my cousin's wedding than it does to Liz's service but provided for tons of great jokes at the wedding. I hope that there was as much laughter at Liz's service as there was the wedding.

Go check out the blog, and make sure you click on the google adds to drive some money Matt & Madeline's way. My options were rather fun inflatable party toys. Go read. It makes me feel better just to see it.

Iowa Flood Pics

2008-06-17T17:11:00.002-07:00

My cousin Erin sent these pics today of flooding Iowa City/Coralville. Even though I lived there for 12 years it took me a while to figure out where most of these pictures were taken. Clue, none of these are the river. Look for where the road might be.

Garrison Keillor on Episcopalians

2008-06-16T13:13:00.002-07:00

Not many people realize it but Garrison Keillor is an Episcopalian, living in Lutheran land. Here are a few choice words on Episcopalians adapted from an essay he wrote.

We make fun of Episcopalians for their blandness, their excessive calm, their fear of giving offense, their lack of speed and also for their secret fondness for macaroni and cheese. But nobody sings like them. If you were to ask an audience in Des Moines, a relatively Episcopalianless place, to sing along on the chorus of "Michael Row the Boat Ashore," they will look daggers at you as if you had asked them to strip to their underwear. But if you do this among Episcopalians, they'd smile and row that boat ashore and up on the beach! ....And down the road!

Many Episcopalians are bred from childhood to sing in four-part harmony, a talent that comes from sitting on the lap of someone singing alto or tenor or bass and hearing the harmonic intervals by putting your little head against that person's rib cage. It's natural for Episcopalians to sing in harmony. We are too modest to be soloists, too worldly to sing in unison. When you're singing in the key of C and you slide into the A7th and D7th chords, all two hundred of you, it's an emotionally fulfilling moment. By our joining in harmony, we somehow promise that we will not forsake each other.

I do believe this, people: Episcopalians, who love to sing in four-part harmony are the sort of people you could call up when you're in deep distress. If you are dying, they will comfort you. If you are lonely, they'll talk to you. And if you are hungry, they'll give you tuna salad!

Episcopalians believe in prayer, but would practically die if asked to pray out loud. Episcopalians like to sing, except when confronted with a new hymn or a hymn with more than four stanzas.

Episcopalians believe their rectors will visit them in the hospital, even if they don't notify them that they are there.

Episcopalians usually follow the official liturgy and will feel it is their way of suffering for their sins.

Episcopalians believe in miracles and even expect miracles, especially during their stewardship visitation programs or when passing the plate.

Episcopalians feel that applauding for their children's choirs will not make the kids too proud and conceited.

Episcopalians think that the Bible forbids them from crossing the aisle while passing the peace.

Episcopalians drink coffee as if it were the Third Sacrament.

Episcopalians feel guilty for not staying to clean up after their own wedding reception in the Fellowship Hall.

Episcopalians are willing to pay up to one dollar for a meal at church.

Episcopalians still serve Jell-O in the proper liturgical color of the season and Episcopalians believe that it is OK to poke fun at themselves and never take themselves too seriously.

And finally, you know you are a Episcopalian when:

It's 100 degrees, with 90% humidity, and you still have coffee after the service.

You hear something really funny during the sermon and smile as loudly as you can.

Donuts are a line item in the church budget, just like coffee.

When you watch a Star Wars movie and they say, "May the Force be with you," and you respond, "and also with you."

And lastly, it takes ten minutes to say good-bye .

A New Look at the Trinity

2008-06-16T12:27:00.000-07:00

Departing Funnies

2008-06-16T12:20:00.002-07:00

I have spent much of today going through my e-mail archives trying to figure out what I need to save and what is really obsolete at this point. I have been saving all sorts of things that make me laugh though so I thought that I would begin to post the best ones here for giggles for others. I hope you enjoy them.

Iowa Waters

2008-06-13T20:29:00.002-07:00

For regularly updated information on the Ecumenical Relief Effort in Iowa, check out the Iowa Waters blog. It is sponsored by the Episcopal Diocese of Iowa. Right now it has information about the Episcopal churches in Iowa, which all seem to be above flood waters. I am rather amused by the humor shown at Grace Church in CR, which has managed to find laughter in the fact that they have always been rather "high church" and that seems to be keeping them above the flood waters.

The diocese has put together a Flood Relief fund. Donations can be made online at the diocesan website. The Diocese of Louisiana has been in touch with Christ Church Cedar Rapids to offer assistance through their "Rebuilding Program" and Episcopal Relief and Development has already offered an emergency grant. Bishop Scarfe has offered a pastoral letter as well.

While looking for prayers for flooding I ran across good ones from the Diocese of Oxford prepared for floods they experienced last summer. It is a diocese in a food production area of Great Britain, much like Iowa, so has some good ones for a "bread basket".

Iowa Flooding

2008-06-11T07:16:00.004-07:00

For the past several days I have found myself repeatedly checking the news from and on my home state of Iowa. There is incredible flooding in both my home town, Des Moines, and the town I lived in for 12 years, Iowa City. The flooding is on the scale of the floods of '93 and in some cases might be worse.

The floods of '93 changed the way that I looked at the world. I was minimally affected really. Lost water with everyone else for 12 days, but I do not remember losing power, although we could have. We flushed the toilets with water from the pool, and water we collected from the still falling rain. We had good bottled water because we generally got Crystal Clear delivered. I think we showered at my dad's office in West Des Moines several times, as a schedule had been set up for use. My sisters had been out of town but we had a foreign exchange student from France who was entirely confused by the whole affair. He generally spent the summers with his grandfather on his yacht in the Med, so this was really roughing it. It took him a week to figure out that no one had water. It didn't really faze him though because he used 3 gallons of bottled water to wash his very blond locks one day.

The levees in Des Moines broke on my 18th birthday. I remember we had decided to spend the day at the country club and by the end of the day couldn't really figure out how to get back across the river to our house. Every route that we tried was flooded. Eventually we left town entirely to drive around the outside and just barely made it through before they closed one more route.

The whole time just seemed like a bit of an adventure. I wasn't really responsible for making sure that my family was taken care of. I didn't have to boil much water when the water plant came back online and we couldn't drink the water. The whole time I was so proud to be an Iowan. I saw the way that people just dropped what they were doing and came together to help. People filled sandbags, and helped to get people out of flooded areas. They took in animals whose owners were living in shelters. They continued to find the humor in situations and laughed.

So now I am watching the pictures and video, and readings and hearing the stories, wishing that I could do something to help. I know really it is wishing that I could be there to share with them, that somehow my presence might help. I know that it really wouldn't much, that this is more about my need to be a part of that community, and the difficultly of worrying and watching from 1000 miles away. So I keep watching and more importantly praying. Praying for safety, sanity, laughter and less rain. It is the only thing that I can do right now, but that doesn't make it any less important.

FedEx Adventures

2008-06-09T07:52:00.003-07:00

This morning I tiptoed into my local FedEx/Kinko's which happens to be right next door. I tiptoed because I have exercised my new found assertiveness on them as one of the managers kept parking in my parking spot and I was a little bit afraid of getting the copy shop equivalent of a sneezer.

In the 15 minutes that I was in there, I was mistaken for an employee twice which would have been okay except for the fact that I was wearing this t-shirt from my favorite funny Des Moines t-shirt shop which said in big bold letters "Des Moines: Hell Yes." Do people really think that would be appropriate attire for an employee? I could help the first customer, he just was trying to figure out the copier (and may not have thought I was an employee just looked like I knew what I was doing). The second woman was totally confused and couldn't understand why I was incapable of answering her questions.

Xander's Crate

2008-06-08T18:59:00.004-07:00

Many of you who know me know that I have a dog named Xander (Alexander Nikolaevich but he only gets called that when he is in trouble) who has a bit of a bladder control problem. The problem is primarily that he doesn't like to wait even though he is capable of it. I used to think that he was stupid, then I realized that I just got a stubborn dog. Imagine that, stubborn human got a stubborn dog. I believe that is called karma. Because of this little problem I recently started to crate Xander again when I leave the house and when I go to bed. I know that Xander is smart because it took him all of five minutes to learn that the phrase "go to your house" means go and get in the crate and you will get affection and a cookie (Milkbone).

This afternoon I got home and Xander welcomed me at the door. I was a little surprised because I could have sworn that I put him in his crate when I left to go and meet friends. This is what I found.

The little devil managed to rip a hole in the mesh door covering and push his way out. So tomorrow I get to go to the pet store and get one of the metal ones. I might not be the alpha animal in the house, as that is Kes the cat, but I refuse to be outsmarted more than once in a week by the dog.

Congrats to Gene Robinson

2008-06-08T18:44:00.002-07:00

Check out this great clip of an interview with The Rev. Susan Russell who preached at the Eucharist which followed the civil blessing of The Rt. Rev. Gene Robinson and Mark Andrew on Friday. What a great way to celebrate a union of 20 years.

Keep Laughing

2008-06-06T12:32:00.002-07:00

A friend and former co-worker sent me this e-card recently from someecards.com. Of course it is a little tasteless but that is what makes it funny. Plus I wasn't actually fired. Regardless it is amusing.

Hard Days

2008-06-05T16:25:00.003-07:00

Today was really hard for some reason. I started to get really angry at the whole situation at work. I am angry at the people who are complaining about the closing of the Greenhouse. It isn't logical of me to be angry (but anger is so rarely all that logical) but I am mad that they are making a big stink about a place when there has been no stink about people. 33 bloody people are losing their jobs and no one is making a stink about that. I know it is personal for me, so it is more sensitive but we are all spending all our time focusing on the squeaky wheel because it is squeaking.

I am having trouble because I am angry and I am not good at being angry. Plus I don't have anyone to be angry at really. There isn't any place to focus my anger, I can't be angry at anyone. I could be angry at God but now I don't have the energy. I know God can take it but my anger comes and goes, mostly goes. Then I get sad, or anxious about the future, or scared, or closed off. Ugh, I hate emotional roller coasters. Funny thing, I am glad this is happening now, and not five years ago because then I would have had a much tougher time dealing with it. I still have to be careful though. I know that depression is always out there and is something I have to be conscious of. So I am taking my psychological temperature and trying to make sure that I am not sitting at home very often. Getting some exercise and trying to eat well. Ugh this being healthy thing is difficult sometimes.

Darn Lakota Chants

2008-06-03T18:38:00.002-07:00

Today was the Evensong celebrating the ministry of Eugene. I figured that after Howard's evensong last week, this would be a piece of cake. Okay so I spent a bunch of time last week looking at one window, meditating on sanity but I made it through. Tonight not so much.

Howard had an amazing sermon, lit up by what can only be called the fire of God. He spoke to all of us but particularly to Eugene. I was just fine, until Howard pulled out an eagle feather and a Lakota cross. Eugene came out and kneeled in front of Howard while Howard chanted and blessed him. Well I think that was what happened but I was wiping my eyes and kept missing parts. I will post the sermon when I get it. Lots of people asked for it. I am not sure it will carry the same feeling when reading as it does when heard but try to imagine it.

Cathedral in the News- Updated

2008-05-31T11:05:00.003-07:00

Today an article about the National Cathedral appears on the front page of the Washington Post. The article is by no means a puff piece but I think in some ways might have missed parts of the story as well. I suppose any article really does miss parts of a story as it focuses on a different piece of the story.

Thankfully though it does not suggest that the actions of the Cathedral are in any way a reflection of the actions of General Convention 03 and the consent to consecrate Gene Robinson. Because that would just be plain annoying. On the other hand the comments do suggest that to some extent. The comments also affirm that people really do not get that the Cathedral is not funding by the government. I wonder if after we take down the red banners at the West End we could put up ones that say "WE GET NO MONEY FROM THE GOVERNMENT". Probably not, it would be tacky and Episcopalians should never be tacky and people still probably wouldn't believe it.

Interviews

2008-05-29T20:02:00.003-07:00

This just in, interviews produce brain dead Episcopal Princesses. I had an interview tonight for a rather interesting position, that I am discerning. The interview was about 2 hours long and required some travel to get there (am I being coy enough?) I am so sick of the sound of my own voice at this point in the evening that my head and ears hurt. The simple thought of hearing my voice causes me to cringe, raising my shoulders and hunching over. I admit part of this is the introvert in me, but noise hurts right now. I wish that I was in the country (or a small town) and could sit on the back deck staring at the stars, listening to the sounds of night. Instead I get the bus going by and somewhat intoxicated people loudly chatting with each other in the alley. Strangely that doesn't irritate me in the same way that the sound of my voice does right now.

On the way home I knew I had some phone calls to make (all on a hands free device just for the record). I was behind on calls to Karen to get new Jack news. My mother I knew wanted to hear from me but I had to simply say "Mom, I love you and I cannot stand the sound of my voice." Then it was just me and NPR. Until I realized I was completely zoning out, so I pulled over, got a water and called Meg. We talked for a while and I made it safely home but now I want to take at least a 12 hour break from my own noise.

I would completely turn off all the noise but the Discovery Channel has the Duggers on once again, and I have this complete fascination with that family. This is the first show and I know I have seen it a dozen times but I simply cannot turn away. Whenever they are on I have to watch. I just checked their website and they are expecting child 18 in January 2009. The Jolie-Pitt family has a long way to catch up.

Yep, my brain is fried because I just wrote this whole entry in train of thought.

Gulp

2008-05-28T17:20:00.002-07:00

MadPriest read my blog. Can I just die happy now????

Indiana Jones

2008-05-26T19:39:00.002-07:00

I saw Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull today. Thanks to George Lucas, Steven Spielberg, their crews and Harrison Ford for the return of the great Saturday afternoon adventure movie. It was action packed and completely over the top as a good action movie should be. In true Lucas style it was full of mythology and managed in a rather interesting way to pay homage to Joseph Campbell and incorporated not only the normal heroic journey myth, but also I think a creation myth. It was pretty cool. I love George Lucas for this. Okay I don't know how much he had to do with it (he had producer credits) but it does seem fitting to get another Lucas offering which incorporates the mythological connections that he has given us for more than 30 years.

I will write more later but I don't really want to spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it. My recommendation, go see it. Have fun. That is what movies are for after all.

Cocooning

2008-05-25T20:34:00.003-07:00

I have mostly been cocooning this weekend. I fixed my bike and went for a ride this morning. I have done laundry, I have talked to people that I really like, and went to have dinner at Meg's new place. But I still feel a little like a caterpillar that has crawled into a cocoon, and at times a cocoon that I do not really want to come out of. I know naturally that is not the healthiest view or one that I am in any way allowed to take. It is too easy for me to do that, to hide from the world, to venture into my cave and never come out again. It does teach me how much healthier I am than I was 10 or even 5 years ago though. When this might push me over the edge, the negative person living inside of me that views the world with positive eyes and myself with a completely different set, is not gone but tempered a bit. She is still there but other voices are stronger. She merely has a place at the table along with everyone else, but no longer rules from a bully pulpit, like she did for most of my life.

I still am dealing with everything, and attempting to head through the stages of grief. I wish that I could order my life and take each stage in progression, giving each stage a few days to go through. Alas life does not work that way, and heck I wouldn't learn anything that way anyhow and I need this to be a learning and growing experience for me. I need it to be an experience that continues to form the shape of my ministry for the next period of time. Will it be diocesan, parish or something entirely different? I don't know, but I am going to find out. I just have to keep the door to my cocoon open, while still using it for the healing that I need to do right now.

How I Feel About the Carrot Ad

2008-05-23T19:56:00.002-07:00

Thanks to Mad Priest for suggesting this video. He suggested that this was Rowan and the carrot...

As you can imagine I am amused.

The Ad

2008-05-23T19:54:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I posted about the new Episcopal Church ad. Here it is

New Campaign

2008-05-22T07:38:00.002-07:00

The Episcopal Church is launching a new advertising campaign entitled "Put Your Faith to Work", which includes a website www.putyourfaithtowork.org. On the surface I love this idea. I love the idea of the Episcopal Church doing advertising, it is like evangelism that isn't quite so scary, and I love the idea behind the campaign of teaching people that everything they do is ministry, when done for God. This is great formation.

Here is my problem though. The commercial starts out by saying "Put Your Faith to Work, Slice Carrots" it is too subtle. I don't think that the majority of people are going to understand that we are suggesting that they are ministers when prepping dinner at night. Or that there are angels unaware.

The whole campaign strikes me as one of the problems with evangelism in the Episcopal church as a whole, we ask people to meet us where we are as opposed to meeting them where they are. We do it when people come to church. We give them funny looks and hold back at the peace, we are nervous instead of exuberant. We wait for them to make a commitment before expending our energy. And I am using the royal we here as well, I do it too. I don't think that we do it out of malice but out of fear, and wanting to maintain good manners. Well and personally as a Midwesterner because we just don't do exuberant, we are storing our energy for the next cold spell.

What is it about Episcopalians that we seem unable to meet people where they are instead we wait for them to come to us? Are we afraid? Are we afraid of our power? Of our product? Of the love of God? I don't know. I do know that part of having faith is being willing to step out past the red line of fear, taking giant steps into the unknown sometimes, trusting that God will put your feet onto the right path.

So today I issue me and you a challenge. Greet someone you have never seen before with the love that God shows you. You might scare them and yourself but then again, you might see the face of God where you haven't seen it before. Then again that is a little scary too.

Gratitude

2008-05-21T20:23:00.002-07:00

Gratitude for today:

- interviews with places that I would LOVE to minister

- Leslie is LEUKEMIA FREE!

- an amazing family

- 8 hour work days

- life lessons (I know I am nutz)

Gratitude Journal

2008-05-18T22:06:00.002-07:00

I once read a book that encouraged everyone to keep a gratitude journal, documenting at least five things that you are thankful for each day. I got out of the practice of keeping one a long time ago but I do remember that it helped to re-order my brain before bed to remember the positive items of the day rather than the negative ones. Funny I usually woke up feeling more positive as well. I can look through my old one with entries like "blue hair" and "choc chip cookies". I don't honestly remember what sparked the blue hair entry but it must have made me smile at the time. Sometimes my journal was just five basic things, names of members of my family or my cat. Other times it was more esoteric. So I think that in this time of death and I hope re-birth I am going to start keeping the gratitude journal again.

Sunday

- afternoon tea with Joy

- D'O graduates with her Masters

- my roomie TD being home, even if just for the night

- dinner with Elizabeth

- I don't have to deal with Sacred Circles next February

Fear and Loathing in DC

2008-05-17T20:41:00.005-07:00

I am scared. I am scared of the future and not knowing what that future will be. I know that the reality is that I never really know what the future looks like, but much of the time I get the opportunity to live in a lovely dream where I can pretend that I do. Now I don't know much past today. I don't know how I will feel tomorrow, although I can imagine that it will be a continuation of the emotional roller coaster that I have been on for a few days. I swing from anger, to frustration, through relief (as I cannot stay there yet), to depression, to wondering if another shoe is going to drop.

I am scared that no one is going to want to hire me. That they are going to look at me and my resume and go "You have got to be kidding me? You aren't qualified for this." And that I am going to be living alone in a box with my dog and cat. I know that this is silly and that I am letting my imagination run far away with me, but sometimes logic doesn't enter into the equation these days.

I know there is an important lesson in here for me about living in the now, at this exact moment. When I am looking at the past or imagining the future I am missing right now. It is of course important to learn my lessons from the past, reflecting and growing, but it is equally important for me to learn to live for the right now. Feeling and thinking, seeing, smelling, hearing and listening. This is one of my lessons for now. It is a way of growing. I hate growing. No one really wants to do it. It is painful but something that must happen or else I become stagnant. This is one of those "life lessons" isn't it? Damn life lessons.

Crash Helmets in Church

2008-05-01T13:26:00.001-07:00

A great quotation about Church from Annie Dillard "Teaching a Stone to Talk" p40-- "On the whole, I do not find Christians, outside of the catacombs, sufficiently sensible of conditions. Does anyone have the foggiest idea what sort of power we so blithely invoke? Or, as I suspect, does no one believe a word of it? The churches are children playing on the floor with their chemistry sets, making up a batch of TNT to kill a Sunday morning. It is madness to wear ladies hats and straw hats and velvet hats to church; we should all be wearing crash helmets. Ushers should issue life preservers and signal flares; they should lash us to our pews. For the sleeping god may wake someday and take offence, or the waking god may draw us out to where we can never return."

Church Cartoons

2008-04-17T07:48:00.002-07:00

I love the way in which we can tell stories through different mediums. As Christians we are people of a book, people of a story, that gets told and retold in hundreds of different ways each day.

I am always amused by the creator of Cartoon Church, Dave Walker, who takes a humorous, and somewhat irreverent view of the church through his website. He was the author of the cartoon Windsor Report, which skewered some of the insanity of the whole situation. He then went on to cartoon the Anglican Consultative Council meeting as well. Now he has been called to be the official cartoonist in residence of the Lambeth Conference. This is what I love about the Anglican church. We know how to laugh at ourselves, yet lately we seem to be doing less of that. Thanks to people like Dave who keep us laughing at ourselves.